i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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