The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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