if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
