is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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