You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
