she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
