Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
