I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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