i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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