Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
