I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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