I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
