She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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