If that was your dad, he is hot
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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