3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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