i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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