when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
