oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sorry about my life...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
