wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
