I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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