I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Mom said you looked used
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
