i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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