I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
