apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
