i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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