is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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