I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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