whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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