she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
