Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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