is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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