Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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