Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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