yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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