She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
