I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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