I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
