I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
