you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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