I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
