I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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