whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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