I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
