haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Plan B is the new Plan A
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
