I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
