I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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