i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
