Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
