this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just found puke in my bra..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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