i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
