All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
