i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
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